I haven't written on here for quite a while. There is a reason for that, but for now, I just want to up-date on what's been going on lately.
I started school in April. At first I was really apprehensive as to what I had just gotten myself into. Since the dreaded "first day" I have come to realize that I should of done this years ago. I love my classes. They are, Strategies, Ethics, Psychology, and Public Speaking. At first I really thought that I would hate Public Speaking, but to be quite honest, it's helping me with breaking out of my "shell". In Strategies, there is absolutely no way I could finish this class with the low self-esteem I started with. I basically makes you look at who you are, and what you can do to make yourself and your life better. The ways of reaching your goals, etc. In Ethics, I am learning so much about the world around me. There are so many things I didn't know were going on right in front of my face. In Psychology, I am learning about behaviors, etc. Why people act they way they do, and what I can do to cope with whatever comes my way. So to be honest, each of my classes is helping me become a stronger, more confident, me.
School aside, there has been a lot of other things going on, but to be quite honest, I think that at this point, I'm just going to enjoy the ride, and see where it takes me. I had a conversations with one of my "ex's" today, and it really hurt me. BAD. I allowed what he said, to actually hurt me. Didn't I learn the first time around with him? I couldn't figure out why I let this happen. Until I looked at the situation from an outward point of view. He wanted me back, I told him no. Even though we dated for a short ammout of time, habit from the past made me want to just forgive the pain he caused me, and let him back. Strength from who I am becoming, made me reject the idea. Unfortunately, he didn't like what I had to say, and he chose that time to tell me exactly what he thought of me, and tell me what he did while we were dating. Believe me, it hurt. Worse than just ripping my heart out, I actually let him jump on it once it hit the ground today. As the day progressed, I have had a lot of time to think. I know that in the past I have unknowingly sabotaged some of the relationships I was in because of my insecurities. I am so grateful that I can now look back and see where I made the mistakes. I trusted where trust shouldn't of trusted, I let go, where I should of held on, and I held on where I should of let go. It's interesting the things that happen that help you see the things that you completely missed the first time around.
Life is interesting in the way it goes about teaching you lessons. I don't know what I would do if I hadn't learned the lessons I have learned to this point, and I can't wait to learn what I am about to learn.
With the weather being so crazy lately, I haven't had very many opportunities to count my stars. I miss them. I don't know how I've done it without them, but I do know that NO MATTER WHAT, they will always be there for me. I will always have them there to protect me from the unknown of the universe. I am so grateful for everything they do for me. I don't know how I will ever be able to thank them properly. I do know that by living my life with my personal standards high, will be a start. I will no longer allow others to get me down. I am stronger, and there is no way I will allow that strength to be taken from me ever again. Just like I know that my stars will never let me down...
I started school in April. At first I was really apprehensive as to what I had just gotten myself into. Since the dreaded "first day" I have come to realize that I should of done this years ago. I love my classes. They are, Strategies, Ethics, Psychology, and Public Speaking. At first I really thought that I would hate Public Speaking, but to be quite honest, it's helping me with breaking out of my "shell". In Strategies, there is absolutely no way I could finish this class with the low self-esteem I started with. I basically makes you look at who you are, and what you can do to make yourself and your life better. The ways of reaching your goals, etc. In Ethics, I am learning so much about the world around me. There are so many things I didn't know were going on right in front of my face. In Psychology, I am learning about behaviors, etc. Why people act they way they do, and what I can do to cope with whatever comes my way. So to be honest, each of my classes is helping me become a stronger, more confident, me.
School aside, there has been a lot of other things going on, but to be quite honest, I think that at this point, I'm just going to enjoy the ride, and see where it takes me. I had a conversations with one of my "ex's" today, and it really hurt me. BAD. I allowed what he said, to actually hurt me. Didn't I learn the first time around with him? I couldn't figure out why I let this happen. Until I looked at the situation from an outward point of view. He wanted me back, I told him no. Even though we dated for a short ammout of time, habit from the past made me want to just forgive the pain he caused me, and let him back. Strength from who I am becoming, made me reject the idea. Unfortunately, he didn't like what I had to say, and he chose that time to tell me exactly what he thought of me, and tell me what he did while we were dating. Believe me, it hurt. Worse than just ripping my heart out, I actually let him jump on it once it hit the ground today. As the day progressed, I have had a lot of time to think. I know that in the past I have unknowingly sabotaged some of the relationships I was in because of my insecurities. I am so grateful that I can now look back and see where I made the mistakes. I trusted where trust shouldn't of trusted, I let go, where I should of held on, and I held on where I should of let go. It's interesting the things that happen that help you see the things that you completely missed the first time around.
Life is interesting in the way it goes about teaching you lessons. I don't know what I would do if I hadn't learned the lessons I have learned to this point, and I can't wait to learn what I am about to learn.
With the weather being so crazy lately, I haven't had very many opportunities to count my stars. I miss them. I don't know how I've done it without them, but I do know that NO MATTER WHAT, they will always be there for me. I will always have them there to protect me from the unknown of the universe. I am so grateful for everything they do for me. I don't know how I will ever be able to thank them properly. I do know that by living my life with my personal standards high, will be a start. I will no longer allow others to get me down. I am stronger, and there is no way I will allow that strength to be taken from me ever again. Just like I know that my stars will never let me down...
