It's Been a While

It's interesting how life can change at a drop of a hat. I haven't written on here for a very long time, but I'm thinking that it's time to catch up...

I have almost 4 and a half years of sobriety now, and I'm still grateful for the things that I learned while I was "numb" to the world. At the time, when things are all going wrong, you always think that you just won't live to see the next day. I know part of the reason I have been able to conquer the trials that I have conquered is because of the strength of my family and friends. I know without a shadow of doubt that if I didn't have my family and friends, I wouldn't be where I am today. I have SO many people to thank for helping me become the person I am today. I know I've gone over and over in my head how my loved ones have helped, but I am a eternally grateful person, and feel that if you can't express your gratitude, then you aren't truly grateful.

My sister and her husband are true hearts. They have been through so much, and yet they are the remarkable people that I constantly look up to. They have never had to "borrow" money from parents, they always make it through the tough times, and they always stick together. They have had their fair share of trials, but those trials have made them the amazing, hard working people they are today. And for that reason, I look up to both of them with the up-most respect, admiration, and love.

My parents are another wonderful example. My mom has always held on to her faith. She is a true inspiration to me when it comes to religion. Not once, that I have seen, has she ever faltered in her faith in the church. I have my questions, and concerns when it comes to the subject, but it doesn't matter what objections I come up with, she always has an answer. She is a true inspiration to me when it comes to "working your fingers to the bone." She is the hardest worker I have ever known in my life. Always working, always trying, always succeeding, even though she doesn't always see the success, it's there. She always has wonderful advice, even though she doesn't know it, for a broken heart. And for those reasons, she deserves all the respect and love I have.
My dad has always been there for me. He always has great advice when it comes to me having "issues" with someone. He is the most nonjudgmental, non-hypocritical person I have ever known. He is always willing to accept someone, always willing to give them the trust that so many people take for granted. He was in the Korean war, suffers from post traumatic syndrome, and still is a hard worker. For those reasons, he has my respect and love.

My brother and his wife are truly amazing people also. I don't know my brother very well, we've honestly lost touch in the last 10 yrs, but anytime I have ever needed someone, not matter the situation, he has been there. It's so comforting to know that my big brother will always be there for me. He is an amazing hard worker to the point where he has lost numerous hours of sleep just to find the success that he has earned. My big brother is the most amazing when it comes to "rescuing" me. I don't think he knows it, but I look up to him, almost like some do a superhero. He has lost a couple very close friends in the last few years, and he is still as strong as ever. His wife, is one that I know I can always get a hug from, who has the most creative side. She always has a new crafty idea, for that I am envious. They both work incredibly hard, and for all these reasons, they have my respect, and undying love.

My daughter has been through more in her 12 yrs than a lot of adults have been through in their entire lives. The strength that she shows daily is truly amazing. She has been put in a home where love is not shown, where she is constantly being grounded for things that her step-mother lies about, and she is still a generous, unselfish little girl, with a huge heart. The love that seeps from her is an inspiration to me. She is very nonjudgmental, and refuses to be part of the gossip train at school. It breaks my heart that there are things that I didn't want her to know, like my addiction, but I hope that if she learns anything from me, it will be that addiction is not a way of life. When people say, "would you do anything for your child?" my answer will always be YES. She is my light on a stormy night. She is my inspiration.

There are so many people that I could add to my list, but that would take years, and years to express my gratitude, respect, and love for all of them.

I haven't been out to count stars in what seems like ages. I miss my stars, and I'm sure that once it warms up, I'll be reunited with them once again. I wasn't really going to go the way I did, but I honestly think that this was a pretty good post. I'm going to try and post more often, but I also know that sometimes life has it's own little surprises, and it just doesn't get done. I truly hope that my example can be an inspiration to someone, just like those who I love that are in my life are to me. I love you all, thank you.

Dream with your eyes wide open, it'll be a ride you don't want to miss.