Maybe, Just Maybe...

So I have now hit my 3 1/2 anniversary. Honestly I never knew I would make it this far. I think that if I had to do it all over again, I would still make the same decisions. Only because those decisions made me who I am today.

I understand that I still have character defects, and I want to thank my friends for pointing them out to me. It's a lot easier to see those problems and try to fix them, than to not know they exist, and never fix them. I have been told recently by a sweet friend, that I spend way too much time on my phone. This is so true. I rely entirely too much on my phone for comfort. Up until recently, I always thought that if my phone wasn't ringing or a text coming in, I wasn't important. I have realized that the importance has to come from me first. Just like the whole priority thing. I was 110% positive that my daughter was my #1 priority before I went to rehab. Until I was made to see that no, she's not. If I don't take care of myself as #1, then how am I to take care of my daughter. Well, the same goes for being important. If I don't see myself as important, then I can't be made to believe it by anyone else until I do. It's amazing what you can see when you finally see the truth to life. At least now I can move on with confidence, and leave my phone at home. My friend is right, the economy now relies too much on the cell phone to do the work. We need to set our phones aside, and get out and physically talk to our friends. No more relying on the phone to do our work. We have become entirely too dependent on our phones. My goal this week is to treat my phone as if it was a home phone. Since I am never home though, my phone will be left in my car. I know this is a far stretch, considering my phone is always in my hand, but I think I can do it. This will show me that I am important to myself, that I don't need constant reassurance that I am important.

On the drive home last night from hanging out with some friends in Morgan, I pulled over to look at the sky. Every time I go up there, I think about the one guy. The one I've always had a crush on. What's he up to, what's new in his world? Does he ever think about me? Honestly, this is an entire different subject that I will share with you later. Back to Morgan. You can definitely see more stars up there. It was an amazing show. Each little star is important to us in it's own unique way. No one has ever told those stars they are important, they just know it. They don't have to be told, they just know. Each of these little stars are so incredibly strong. They fight through light years, just so we can see how beautiful they are. Even though it was freezing, I stayed out there for almost a half hour. This is the part where I convinced myself that I can do this. I am strong enough. I've been through much harder things before. I know that trials of the heart are the hardest to conquer, but like I said, I've made it through before. I can do it again. And maybe, just maybe, everything will work out.