From a shattered heart, to a healing one, the tingle of pain is still there. I'm not sure of much, but I am sure of the stars. I started this blog because I had to get out all my thoughts on life that would pop up in my head when I am out counting stars. I want, what I want. Too bad life doesn't work that way. The "fake it til ya make it" keeps coming into my head lately. I was told to just be myself. I'm getting closer to who I think I am, but I always slip and hide myself. More out of fear than anything else. I know that if people can't accept me for who I am, that's their problem, right? I wish. I don't know why, but I really do worry about what people think of me. I guess that's why I started this blog. I put all that I am out here, and if people don't like it. For some crazy reason, I don't care anymore.
It's funny to think that in the past all I ever worried about was what people thought of me. My own self-worth was counted on their opinion of who and what I was.
It's amazing that starting school has done more for me in the past couple of weeks, than I ever though it would. The classes that I have are truly amazing classes. My Strategies class is to teach me how to accept who I am and to be proud of it. My Ethics class is to teach me about my own morals and the morals of the world. My Psychology class is teaching me how other people act, and how I can accept their behaviors. My Public Speaking class is teaching me how to let go of the fear of being center of attention. In each of my classes I have learned SO much already, and it's just beginning...
I noticed in almost all my older posts, I have mentioned meeting new people, some good, some I wish I could forget that I ever met them. Again, I am posting on the people I have met in the last little while. There are some truly amazing people out there, and in the last little while, I have met a good portion of them. I think that no matter the situation, the only way you can move on in life is to look at the person as a whole, not as an outward appearance. I have always thought that the true person lies inside of the shell, I now know that this is true. I just hope that others will give me the same and get to know me before they judge me.
In the past I have been so insecure that it has completely destroyed my past relationships. Whenever a relationship didn't work, the first thing I said was, "what is wrong with me?" When in reality, I should of just realized that it just didn't work out. It wasn't necessarily something I did, or something that he did. It just didn't work out. Finally I have it figured out that no matter how much I like the guy, if he doesn't want what I want, I can't keep stressing about it not working out, and just move on. Sometimes being a friend is better than nothing.
I haven't been able to go out and count stars a whole lot lately, mainly because of the weather, and second, because the trampoline got hit with a huge tree, and hasn't been fixed yet. I know that summer is on it's way with the way the weather has been behaving. At least I have that to look forward to. So even though I haven't seen my stars a whole lot lately, it doesn't mean I don't realize that they are there for me, no matter the situation, they will always be there for me. Just like my friends and family. Even those who have become important parts of my life lately. I love my stars, just as I love my friends and family. I wouldn't be here if I didn't have them.
Love life to the fullest, and enjoy the rewards of a happy fulfilled life, full of love.
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